


Silently Drawn

by Somniare



Series: Phrase Challenge [11]
Category: Lewis (TV)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-30
Updated: 2015-04-30
Packaged: 2018-03-26 10:30:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3847573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Somniare/pseuds/Somniare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>The first thing out of place was the pair of boots discarded in the hallway behind the door.  A trail of crumpled clothes led to the bedroom, where a naked form lay on its side, facing away from the door.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silently Drawn

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ComplicatedLight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ComplicatedLight/gifts).



* * *

 

It was early afternoon on Sunday when Robbie turned the key in the lock and let himself into his flat.  After a day and two nights with family at his cousin’s wedding in London, he was looking forward to sinking into his couch with a cup of tea, putting his feet up on the coffee table, and, a little later on, catching up on his sleep.

The first thing out of place was the pair of boots discarded in the hallway behind the door.  A trail of crumpled clothes led to the bedroom, where a naked form lay on its side, facing away from the door. 

James.  It couldn’t be anyone else.  While Lewis wasn’t overly familiar with James’s naked body, he didn’t know anyone else that long, lean, and pale who could get into his flat without making a forced entry.

The figure was snoring softly.  Lewis recognised the sound, having heard it on many nights drifting through the flat on those occasions when James had slept on his couch.  Lewis frowned.  Why was James in his flat at all, never mind naked?

Lewis entered the bedroom.  Moving carefully and slowly so as not to startle James, he lifted the sheet that covered James’s feet and ankles and drew it up over his legs and hips, letting it drop over his waist.  Lewis tiptoed to the other side of the bed and studied James.

One hand was tucked underneath his head, and a thin trail of dried saliva led from the corner of James’s mouth.

_Dead drunk?_ Lewis wondered.

One eye half-opened and closed.

“James?” Lewis whispered.

The eye slowly opened again.  “Mmph?”

Lewis crouched beside the bed so his face was level with James’s gaze.  “Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”

James frowned.  He started to sit up and promptly turned a disturbing shade of greenish-yellow.

“Oh, no, you don’t,” Lewis said with alarm, his eyes darting around the bedroom.  Nothing.  It was too late anyway.  James had thrown up.

A low moan rolled out of James as he sank against the pillow.

“Come on, you.”  Lewis moved back to the other side of the bed.  He slipped one arm under James and pulled him into a sitting position.

“No, no, no, no, god, no.”  The long, low groan was pitiful.

Lewis persisted and managed to get the miraculously clean top sheet wrapped around James, despite James’s wayward limbs getting in the way.  He half-carried James to the bathroom and propped him up between the bath and the toilet, leaning against the bowl. 

Grabbing a plastic bag from the kitchen drawer, Lewis returned to the bedroom to clean up.  He heard James throw up again as he passed the bathroom door.  The heaving breaths that followed reassured him James was okay...for now, at least.  Lewis loosened the corners of the fitted sheet and pulled them together to form a bundle, which he dropped into the bag.  It wasn’t worth trying to save the sheet.  It should have been replaced a long time ago, but Lewis had never really seen the need; it wasn’t as though he had someone to impress.  He made a small noise of annoyance when he saw the large stain on the mattress topper.  That would have to be sent to the drycleaners, as it wouldn’t fit inside his machine.  Lewis tied off the plastic bag, dropped it on the floor, and then removed the topper, folding it to enclose the stain.  He’d find a bag for it later.

The toilet flushed.  James made a distressed noise and threw up again.  Lewis shook his head.  It wasn’t like James to drink that heavily.  If he gave James some space, didn’t press him, Lewis hoped James would let him know what had happened, but he acknowledged to himself that it was a long shot.

Lewis gathered up James’s clothes.  He frowned when he picked up the crumpled jeans and shook them out.  They were torn at one knee and filthy.  Lewis had seen no sign of injury on James’s upper body or face, so it was unlikely he’d been in a fight, but something untoward had definitely happened: James would never have gone out dressed in torn clothing.  Lewis huffed.  Some poking might be required.

Bundling everything into the washing machine, Lewis went back to the bathroom.  James had discarded the sheet and had wrapped himself in a large sea-green bath sheet.  He sat on the edge of the bath with his head cradled in his hands.  Lewis took the sheet, added it to the load in the washing machine, and started the wash cycle.  Returning to the bathroom, Lewis perched beside James.

“Are you going to be all right?”

James turned his head slightly to reveal one half-opened eye.  It looked relatively normal as far as Lewis could tell.

“I think so,” James mumbled.

“Feel like telling me how you ended up naked in my bed?” Lewis asked gently.  “Something like that could start all sorts of rumours down the nick.”

James paled and squeezed his eyes shut.  “I am so, so…embarrassed.”

“Just you and me, lad.  No need to be embarrassed.”  Lewis gave James a small nudge with his elbow.

James sighed and rested his shoulder against Lewis’s shoulder.  His hands fell loosely in his lap.

“I went to a club with some of the guys from the band.  Stupid really; I don’t even like clubs.”

“Could have said no.”

“I could have.  I should have, in hindsight.  We went our separate ways around 2am; it could have been later.  I’m sure I only had four or five drinks, but I have a horrible feeling my last one might have been spiked.  I remember the buildings twisting, and then falling down some steps.”  He showed Lewis his grazed palms.  That explained the jeans.  “I think I must have hailed a taxi after that.”

“You don’t remember?”

“It’s vague.”  James groaned and wrapped his arms around his stomach.  Lewis was ready to do what he needed to help him.

“We can check with the taxi companies.  You must have given the driver my address instead of your own.”

James looked at Lewis, his expression uncertain and hopeful at the same time.  “I do remember thinking that, if I had been drugged, I needed to get somewhere safe.”

“Don’t you feel safe at home?”  That was a worrying development.  James had never mentioned any problems before.

“It’s not that…it’s…”  James lowered his eyes.  “I completely forgot you were away.”

“S’all right, lad.”  Lewis rested a hand on his shoulder.  “Another time, eh?”

James nodded.  “Would it be okay if I took a shower?”

“Think you can manage without keeling over?”  James rose, walked several paces fairly steadily, and stopped.  He looked down at Lewis, who exhaled slowly.  “You’ll do for now.  I’m pretty sure I still have a pair of your jeans and a hoodie in one of me drawers.  I’ll look them out for you and leave them at the door.  Once you’re a bit steadier, I’ll take you to A&E.”

“Are you going to make me report this?”  James’s mouth set in a thin hard line.

“You know it should be reported.”

James scowled.  “It’ll be pointless.  If I was slipped something, it’ll probably be out of my system by now.”

“It’s probably somewhere in the mess you left on the sheet.”

James grunted.  It was a noise of disgust at himself.  “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.”  Lewis took in James’s slumped posture.  What was done was done, and James was basically unharmed, which was the most important thing.  “Look…if you don’t feel you need to go to A&E, I won’t make you, but I still think you should file a report tomorrow.  Someone can get CCTV and security footage and see if they can pick up anyone doing anything suspicious.”

James nodded.  Lewis knew James was going to feel guilty about this for weeks.  He made a mental note to accept gracefully the inevitable gift of new sheets James would present him with; they would be high quality ones, too, if he knew James as well as he believed he did.

“I’ll let you get to it, and I’ll get those clothes for you,” Lewis said as he stood and stepped around James, patting him on the shoulder.  The shower started running as Lewis closed the door behind him.  Lewis found the clothes easily enough, dropped them by the bathroom door, and then went to the kitchen.  Perhaps James could face some tea and dry toast.

Lewis leant on the worktop as the kettle rumbled to the boil.

_I completely forgot you were away._

Oh.  James’s expression and words slotted together.  It wasn’t Lewis’s flat that represented safety; it was Lewis himself.  That changed things quite a bit.  Lewis felt humbled, and saddened at the confirmation James probably had no-one else in Oxford he could turn to in times of need.  The fact that James had subsequently climbed naked into Lewis’s bed – with little hesitation, if the discarded clothes were anything to go by – reinforced a suspicion Lewis had had for some time.  Lewis closed his eyes and exhaled slowly.  He could imagine what was probably going through James’s mind.  He would be scolding himself, second-guessing Lewis’s response, and drawing into himself.  Lewis was not going to contribute to that.  Copper or not, James, like everyone else, had a right to feel safe, to seek safety if he felt threatened or in danger.  If for James that place of safety was Lewis, then so be it.  Lewis’s role now was to let James know he’d done nothing wrong or inappropriate.

The kettle clunked as it reached the boil.  Lewis poured the water into the pot.  The shower stopped and the toaster popped.

Lewis kept one ear out for James as he gathered the teapot, cups, sugar, milk, spoons, and toast onto a tray to carry to the kitchen table.  The bathroom door opened and closed.

James emerged a few minutes later.  His hair was too short to stick out in any direction, and his skin was pink where he had scrubbed away the night’s events.  His feet were bare.  He padded slowly towards the table and lowered himself into the kitchen chair opposite Lewis.

“Do you think you can eat something?”  Lewis pushed the plate of toast and a cup of tea towards James.

James sipped and pulled a face at the deliberately over-sweetened tea, but he kept drinking.  He pushed the toast away.

“Look, James–”

“I understand, sir.”  James’s voice was flat.

“Understand what, exactly?” Lewis spoke gently.

“You have to report me even if I choose not to report what happened at the club.”

“What on earth would I report you for?”

James’s mouth opened and closed several times.  “Unlawful entry?” he stammered out.

“You had a key.”

“I didn’t have permission.”

“I gave you permission when I gave you the key, you daft sod.  James, I’m…that you felt you could come here to be safe…that means a lot to me.”

James wouldn’t look at Lewis.  “You don’t understand, sir.  It goes beyond that.  It… perhaps I should…”

“If you say one word about transferring, sergeant, you’ll disappoint me greatly.”  James looked up at that.  “I’m your safety zone, aren’t I?  Not this flat.”  The dismay in James’s eyes confirmed Lewis’s conclusion.  “It’s okay, James.”

“No, sir, it’s not okay.  I’ve crossed a line.”

“Not one of mine.”

“Sir…”

“James, I might be a bit slow on some things at times, but I’m not blind.  As far as I’m concerned, you’ve done nothing out of line, nothing inappropriate, certainly nothing I’d consider reporting you for.  I don’t know what you expect of me, if anything.”  He held up a hand to forestall James’s response.  “Maybe that’s something we need to talk about.”

James’s eyes narrowed and his brow creased.  “You’re not angry, or offended?”

“Why?  Because me best mate automatically came to me when he felt vulnerable?  Wouldn’t make me much of a friend if I did.”

“Sir–”

“Could you call me Robbie, James?  This doesn’t feel like a governor/bagman conversation.”

“I…er…s– Robbie…I…”  James huffed and slumped in the chair.

“Drink your tea, James, and try and eat some toast.”  James’s eyes were still uncertain and Lewis knew it wasn’t about the state of his stomach.  “We’ll work this out, James.  I give you my word.”

James gave a hesitant nod.

_Bugger._   The feeling James was preparing to run grew.  Lewis piled the tea things back on to the tray.  James’s eyes became wide and round.  “Thought we might be more comfortable on the couch,” Lewis said quietly.  The tension left James’s shoulders and he rose shakily to follow Lewis.

James took his cup from the tray and wedged himself into the corner of the couch.  Lewis sat in his usual place next to James and sipped his tea in silence, relaxing his body into the seat.

It was a few minutes before he realised James had stopped drinking.  Lewis offered him more tea – there was little point in pushing the toast – but James declined.  Lewis took the cup from James and put it back onto the tray.  Then he took hold of James’s hands in his own.  James flinched and tensed; however, he didn’t pull away.  Lewis turned James’s hands palm up and ran his thumbs over the grazed skin.

“Does it hurt?” he asked in a low voice.

“Not really.”  James’s fingers loosened in Lewis’s grip.

Lewis lowered James’s hands on to James’s lap but continued to hold onto them.  “There’s nothing wrong with feeling vulnerable, James; it happens to all of us.”

“I know, sir…Robbie…that’s not…”  James pulled his hands away.

Lewis floundered.  This was one of those time he wished Val was here to guide him.  She would have known exactly what to say to James, how to approach the whole issue of how James felt about Lewis without making the lad feel ten times worse than he clearly did.  That James’s feelings went beyond friendship was something Lewis had gradually become aware of in recent times as James’s defences had lowered and – consciously or unconsciously – he exposed more of what was going on inside his head to Lewis.  Lewis had hinted to James that he knew, or at least believed he knew, a nudge that James had either missed or chosen to ignore.

Then there was the question of what James might want from Lewis.  James had never answered the question of whether he was gay, straight, or somewhere in between.  Apart from a brief fling with Fiona McKendrick (which was over before Lewis even knew it had occurred), James had never been involved with anyone, man or woman, to Lewis’s knowledge.

_Ah, bollocks._   He was going to have to go at this head first and hope James didn’t bolt, wasn’t he?

“James.”  Lewis sighed.  “We can work this out, but you have to be honest with me, and me with you; otherwise we’re going to go in pointless circles.”

“Sir?”  James pressed himself against the arm of the chair, opening the gap between them slightly.

Lewis rubbed the back of his neck.  This could go so horribly wrong.  “Your friendship’s important to me, James, more than I think maybe you realise.  I’ve come to rely on you being here, and the last thing I want to is cock things up between us.  If…if there were no barriers…”  He took a deep breath.  “What would you want from me?  You were in my bed for a reason.  Was it because I wasn’t here, or would you have gone in anyway?”

James’s mouth opened and closed several times.  “Close,” he finally said.  “I wanted to be as close to you as possible.  I don’t think I gave any thought to how it would look in the morning.  I wanted…intimacy.”  His final word was a whisper.

“Intimacy?”

“I had no intention of…sex has nothing to do with it.”  James’s jaw clamped shut.

Lewis nodded slowly.  He thought he understood.  “Touch?  Contact?  That’s what you want?”  James nodded, still wary.  “With me?”

“It’s a matter of trust, Robbie.  There’re other things, but you’re the one person I trust completely.”

_Not to hurt you?_ Lewis had done that. _Not to reject you?_ He’d done that as well, yet James was still here and was now looking at him with hopeful expectation.  Lewis laid the arm nearest James along the back of the couch and beckoned James forward with a wave of his fingers. 

James inched forward and then stopped.  “Is this what you really want?” he asked.  “You’re not just…?”

“Being kind?”  Lewis shook his head.  “Reckon I might need this as much as you do.”  James still held back slightly.  “Val and I were together for more than half my life.  You get used to having someone close; it becomes a part of you to give and take comfort.  And, as you said, a big part of that is trust.  I trust and need you, James.  Maybe that sounds a bit selfish–”

“Not at all.”  James closed the gap.  His body pressed against Lewis’s.

Lewis wrapped his arm around James’s shoulders.  “What say we start with this and then figure out what works as we go along?”

James settled his head against Lewis’s shoulder.  “I like the sound of that.”

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt: “Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”
> 
> Title taken from Rumi:   
> _“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.”_


End file.
